.357 Magnum for the Devil
Gotta .357 Magnum baby
gonna shoot that devil down
Gotta .357 Magnum baby
Gonna cut him down to size
When I find that no good lying son of a gun
I’m gonna shoot a hole right between his eyes
Went down to the pawn shop
And laid my money down
Cause, I know it was the devil baby
It was the devil that made you leave
So I took all the money honey
All the money for the honeymoon
And a couple of dollars I had up my sleeve
And I bought a .357 Magnum
So I could shoot the devil down
Gotta .357 Magnum baby
gonna shoot that devil down
Gotta .357 Magnum baby
Gonna cut him down to size
When I find that no good lying son of a gun
I’m gonna shoot a hole right between his beady little eyes
When the sun came up this morning
Honey I called out your pretty name
When no answer came back to me
I got down upon my knees
I asked the All Mighty where could she be?
Where could she be?
He said “Go ask Charlie down at the pawn shop man,
Charlie knows the whole story, Charlie knows everything!”
So that’s just what I did,
Right after I made a three egg, onion, green bell pepper
Monterey jack, jalapeno, chorizo, bacon and Tobasco omelet
With a side of peanut butter toast
and washed it all down with a mug 2 percent chocolate milk,
maybe I had some Jack Daniel or Sailor Jerry in a dirty snuffer to,
but that’s not “germane to the situation”,
Then I went right down there and said “Charlie!
Charlie, The All Mighty told me while I was on my knees
That you know where my baby is, so please, please, please
You got to sell me a .357 Magnum and tell me where my baby be!”
Then he told me, he said “Let me get you a special gun from the back,
This .357 is gonna work like a charm,
It’ll put a bullet right through the devil himself, as a matter of fact…
I’ll be right back.
After a ruckus and a shuffle I heard that back door slam,
But Charlie came back and said, “alright I’ll tell you but you ain’t gonna believe
Me
You aren’t the only one been talking to the All Mighty, as a matter of fact….
He came to me, that’s right. Woke me up from a dead sleep and told me,
What happened last night was nobody’s fault but the devil,
You can’t blame Charlene, and I said ‘I don’t know what you mean’,
But know I do you see, don’t you see man,
It was the devil that made your baby leave, here’s your gun man,
Good luck man”. And that’s what Charlie said, so now I…I
Gotta .357 Magnum baby
gonna shoot that devil down
Gotta .357 Magnum baby
Gonna cut him down to size
When I find that no good lying son of a gun
I’m gonna shoot a hole right between his beady little eyes
I ran to the preacher man and said you gotta help me,
I woke up this morning and called my baby’s name
But she didn’t answer me so I fell down on my knees,
And begged The Almighty please, please, please,
Where can she be? And the answer came back to me,
Right after a really nice breakfast,
By way of Charlie down at the pawnshop,
The All Mighty told me that it was the devil himself
That drove her away from me
So know I have to find him and I know you know about these things
So what do you have to say about that?
He said “I know exactly what to tell you as a matter of fact…
Hold on, I’ll be right back”
After a ruckus and a shuffle I heard the back door slam,
But the preacher man came back and said,
“Listen hear son, and listen good
The devil is easy to find, he ain’t trying to hide,
I can see it in you boy, you got the devil inside!”
Gotta .357 Magnum baby
gonna shoot that devil down
Gotta .357 Magnum baby
Gonna cut him down to size
When I find that no good lying son of a gun
I’m gonna shoot a hole right between his eyes
So I went back home and got back on my knees,
I’ll deal with the devil once and for all,
This .357 Magnum is gonna do the trick
So I put that gun to my head and pulled the trigger…
CLICK
CLICK
CLICK CLICK…..CLICK
Fucking Charlie!
Gotta .357 Magnum baby
Gonna shoot that devil down
And as soon as I get me some money for bullets
I’m gonna find that forked tongue, pitch fork carrying,
Lyin, accusing, goat legged, crooked horned, lizard lipped,
Black beady eyed, Snaked skin ugly son of a bitch and shoot him down!
Michael F. Lewis
1/13/2013
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